I May Hate Myself in the Morning
by Alabaster Serenity Moonbeam
Summary: AU. Jasper is a dog catcher and falls in love with Bella. HOW WILL THEY DEAL?
1. Chapter 1

The night was dark and almost stormy as Jasper gets the call from HQ: a frantic mother had called, saying that there was a rabid dog walking down her driveway, and she was fearful for her family.

He drove over there as fast as he could without speeding, and when he got there he saw immediately why the woman was afraid. The dog was the size of a wolf, and was snarling and growling as it stood in front of the house, as if daring any of the family to step outside. He sat there for a moment to think about his options before grabbing his tranquilizer gun and getting out carefully.

The dog stopped growling, and Jasper froze as the dog started to sniff the air. He readied and aimed the gun at the dog and stayed still as the dog turned his head and spotted him. The dog began growling again, and Jasper shot him just before the dog turned and started to run after him. Jasper darted back to his truck, but he wasn't fast enough; the dog managed to bite his leg before the tranquilizer started to work on the dog, causing him to collapse to the ground.

Quickly, Jasper moved to get the dog into the back of his truck before calling someone to meet him at the hospital, since he was bleeding pretty badly. (**A/N: Picture a paper cut. Now imagine it a million times worse.)** He got the first aid kit out of his truck and began to bandage it up, when he heard the woman walk over.

"Is everything all right?" asked the woman. Jasper looked up when he finished bandaging his leg and saw that the woman was staring at him lustfully.

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper replied before getting up. "Now, someone should be by here tomorrow to check up on things and make sure everything's alright."

"Oh," the woman said, sounding a little disappointed. "Do you want to come in?" she added, pushing her chest out, trying to catch his attention.

"I'm sorry but I can't. I need to get my leg looked at." Jasper put the first aid kit away quickly and got back in his truck, barely hearing her say something about her _very_ healing touch. He avoided looking at her and drove away quickly to go to the hospital.

* * *

><p>When he parked outside, he heard a familiar voice call out to him. "Dude! Bro! What the fuck happened?"<p>

Jasper got out of his truck and saw his best guy friend, Emmett, walking over to him quickly. "I was just bitten by a dog."

Emmett looked into the back of the truck when he got close and frowned. "Jaz. Bro. That's no _dog_. That's like, a fucking _wolf_ or something. You need to go in and see a doctor for that shit."

Jasper just nodded and handed his keys to Emmett before walking toward the ER. "Give those to Jane when she shows up. And remember that you can't hit on her."

"Chill, Jaz," Emmett said as they walked through the doors. "I've moved on. Besides, she has crazy eyes. So, you know, she's _crazy_."

Jasper just rolled his eyes and went to the desk as Emmett went on about how crazy Jane was. And he secretly admitted to himself that there _was_ something wrong with Jane.

For a while, he sat near his friend after checking in. "After this, I need you to bring me home."

Emmett looked away from a blonde nurse who was over by the vending machines and looked at Jasper. "Why, Jaz? Got a hot date or something?"

"I had a rough day," Jasper said with a frown, remembering the woman from earlier who wanted to try to sleep with him.

Emmett nodded and thought for a bit. "I guess we can just chill and playa GTA or something.

Jasper agreed and got up when he heard his named called. He walked back out an hour later and saw Emmett making out with the blonde nurse from before over by the vending machines. Ignoring them, he walked outside to wait and just stared up at the crescent moon that was just barely shining through the clouds.

A few minutes later, he heard Emmett walk out and turned to see him slip a piece of paper into his pocket. "Dude. Change of plans."

Jasper frowned. "What?"

"I just had the fucking best idea ever," Emmett said with a grin. "A strip club! It'll make you feel better."

Jasper tried to object, but Emmett grabbed onto his arm tightly and dragged him toward his car. "I just want to go home."

Emmett ignored him and opened the door for him before shoving him in. "Jaz, you need this. Besides, you won't have to do anything. And it's all on me."

Jasper just shook his head and didn't say anything else as Emmett got in on his side of the car and drove them both to Emmett's favorite strip club.


	2. Wendy Darling and Dorothy Gale

Bella was woken up in the afternoon by her friend Stephanie, who was shouting to her from the kitchen. For a few minutes, she just laid there, trying to forget everything from the night before, but she knew it was futile. There was just no way she could forget while she could feel men's hands on her and a million layers of invisible grime that would never come off.

The only good parts about working at GLITTER was that all the girls were like a family, and everyone who worked there, from Carlisile down, would have your back if some drunk fucker tried to get more than what they paid for. Plus, the money was pretty damn good.

Bella groaned as she sat up, not wanting to be awake yet. Down the hall, she could hear her roommate Stephanie talking to her friend on the phone about work for one of their classes, something about vampires in literature and cinema. She thought it was a bit fucked up and a waste of time. She would have gone for a completely sophisticated class, like Circus Arts. **(A/N: That might be a bit too dangerous for her, tbh.)**

Finally getting up and out of bed, Bella promptly tripped over her shoes from the night before and fell flat on her face.

"Fuck!" Bella exclaimed loudly, angry at herself for not taking care of her stuff before going to bed when she got home that morning. She swore again as she got back up, and managed to make it out of her room and down the hall to the bathroom without any serious injury to herself.

Safely inside the bathroom, Bella stood in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection. With a frown, she saw that her hair was fading from red back to her natural brown, and that she had dark circles under her eyes. The only relief that she had was that everything that needed to be fixed didn't have to be done today.

After taking a shower, Bella got dressed and went out to the kitchen to find something to eat.

"Don't bother," Stephanie said without looking up from her book as Bella opened the refrigerator to look. "We don't have anything."

Bella frowned and looked at Stephanie. "What happened to the food I made?"

"It was eaten." Stephanie looked up and looked at Bella. "I had study groups over and they got hungry."

"Were there actual people or was it just your boyfriend?"

Stephanie frowned at Bella. "For your information, Tyler _can_ be a girl's name. And she did come over, but I actually _did_ have classmates over. For studying."

Bella just shook her head and turned to walk away. Grabbing her keys and her purse, she called her friend Alice to ask if she wanted to go grocery shopping. The answering machine picked up faster than Alice did, but only just.

"What do you want?" Alice asked, sounding tired.

"I need to go get groceries," Bella said as she walked out of the apartment she shared with Stephanie. "I was hoping you'd come with me."

Alice just groaned and was silent for a moment. "Sure," she finally said. "I need to be awake anyway."

"Great! I'll be over there soon," Bella said before hanging up.

* * *

><p>The supermarket was busy that afternoon, and Bella kept Alice close, fearing that Alice would knock into someone else or knock over a display, as she wasn't fully awake yet.<p>

"You should get some coffee," Bella told her as they started down an aisle. "Get you to wake up."

Alice just shook her head and they shopped together for a while. Bella wasn't paying attention when she turned into an aisle and hit the cart of another shopper. Looking up, she recognised the guy as someone who was at the club last night. He had had a friend last night, one that claimed he wrestled sharks... The guy looked at her and she blushed.

"I'm so sorry!" Bella apologised profusely. "I should have been looking where I was going!"

The guy blushed back at her. "I, er, recognise you," he said. "You work at that strip club... ."

Bella blushed more and looked away, trying to find Alice, but of course she was nowhere to be found. She could hear a hint of a Southern accent in his voice. It sounded very, _very _sexy. "Uh, yeah. I'm... Wendy Darling. Er, Bella Swan. Sorry. Wendy's my stage name."

"I'm Jasper. Jasper Whitlock." Jasper held out his hand for her to shake. When she did, she felt a little electric tingle when she touched his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper," Bella said with a smile, hearing Alice walk up behind her.

Jasper started to say something else, but stopped when his phone started to ring. He paused before answering it. "Bella... I know this may seem a bit awkward, but... do you think you might want to grab a coffee some time?"

"Sure she would," Alice said before she could say anything. With a wink, Alice handed him a piece of paper with Bella's number on it. "Call her whenever you want."

Bella smiled at Jasper before turning to frown at Alice when Jasper walked away. "What the fuck was that?"

"He looked delicious," Alice said with a smile. "And I could see that you liked him. Besides, he might not even call you."

"I wish you hadn't done that," Bella mumbled before managing to finish the shopping without running into anyone else.


	3. WHY? BECAUSE I MUST, EMMETT

**A/N: GUYS, Y U NO COMMENT? I mean, I know you're reading it. And I'm not being like, "oh hey, leave # of reviews or else i won't post my next chapter!" ('Cause that's a bunch of bull, and I have _standards_, you know.) Seriously though. Would it kill any of you to leave a review saying, "Oh, that's funny!" or, "I liked it!" or, "More soon, please!" (Don't use those ones, or else I'll know you're cheap and can't think of anything yourselves. No offense.)**

**So, you know. Reviews are good. **Four legs are bad. **:P**

**Anyway, here's chapter 3! And thank you for your time!**

* * *

><p>A few days later, Jasper and Emmett were at home, as they both had the day off that day. They were playing Grand Theft Auto together on the Xbox.<p>

Jasper was pretty into the game and almost didn't hear Emmett ask him a question.

"Why the _fuck_ did you ask her out, bro?" Emmett had to ask again with a brief glance at his friend and roommate.

"It just... happened," Jasper replied without looking back at him. "She ran into my cart. But it wasn't to _dinner_ or anything, just coffee."

Emmett paused the game and turned to look at Jasper. "Is this because you just need to get laid?"

Jasper made a face. "What the fuck? No!"

"I know someone who could help," Emmett said. "I mean. If you _do _need to get laid. If not, then I know someone else-"

"Christ Emmett!" Jasper got up quickly and dropped his controller where he was sitting. "I asked her out... because I thought I liked her."

Emmett started to say something else but stopped when their other roommate walked in the door, glaring at them.

"Pistol whipping more people?" he asked disdainfully before walking into his room without another word.

"Just be careful, bro," Emmett said before saving the game and shutting it off. He glanced at his watch and added, "I gotta go. I have to go meet up with my girl."

Jasper just nodded before walking into the kitchen, and right after he heard the front door close, he heard their other roommate yell loudly from his room.

"_WHO WROTE ON MY BLACK UNDERWEAR WITH MY CHLOROX PEN?_"

* * *

><p>Jasper was getting restless in his apartment, and soon decided to take a walk outside. The sun was shining through the window, so he grabbed his sunglasses and keys before heading outside.<p>

The intensity of the sun betrayed how cold it was, and so one Jasper got outside he was cold. He considered going back up to get a jacket, but then he decided that he could just get used to it.

For a while he just walked, without noticing where he was going, when suddenly he heard his name called. He turned to see his ex-girlfriend Fionna waving at him and crossing the street to come talk to him.

"Long time, no see," Fionna said with a smile when she got near him. He waited as she stopped to catch her breath.

"I've been busy," he replied.

"You still working catching dogs?"

Jasper nodded and started to walk again. He was quiet for a while, before looking at her when she reached to get something out of her backpack. He noticed that she had cut her blonde hair short, and that it just peeked out from below her knit hat. He remembered how long it had been while they were together.

"Anything new in your life?" he asked.

Fionna shook her head. "Nah, I've been too busy. What about you?"

Jasper hesitated before answering. "There's someone. Possibly."

"Oooh," she said as she looked at him. "Have you gone out with her?"

"No," Jasper replied.

"What's the hold up, then?"

Jasper thought for a minute. "I... haven't called her yet."

Fionna stopped him and grabbed onto his arm. "You should. If you don't call, she might forget about you."

Jasper sighed quietly, and started to walk again with Fionna as she changed the subject. They talked and walked for a while longer before Fionna had to leave. Looking at him, she stepped on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to Jasper's cheek.

"You call that girl," Fionna said with a smile. "Now, I'll see you around, Jasper."

"Bye," Jasper said as she walked away. He continued walking before taking out his phone to look at the time. After hesitating, he opened his contacts on his phone and dialed Bella's number before he could stop himself.

"Hello?" Bella picked up after the third ring. He could feel his heard racing in his chest.

"Hi, Bella. It's Jasper."

"Oh, hi Jasper," Bella said. He could hear her breathe in sharply and curse. "Sorry, that wasn't directed at you."

Jasper nodded, even though it was a useless gesture. "I was wondering if you'd be free for coffee soon."

Bella was silent for a minute. "I have to work for the next couple days, so how about on Thursday?"

"That sounds fine," Jasper said with a smile.

They set up their coffee date, and when they hung up, Jasper felt as if he were in heaven. His mood wasn't even dampened by Emmett fighting with their other roommate when he got home.

As he laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, the only thing he could think of was Bella and how she moved up on stage at GLITTER. Suddenly, he had a date with Rosie Palms.


End file.
